Forgiveness, Part 1

Hi, I'm John Lynch, and this is John Lynch Speaks. It has been said often that when communicators are given a choice of what to speak or write on, they will find themselves largely leaning towards those areas that they struggle with the most. And that's why we're starting a two-part series on Forgiveness. At least two times that I can think of in the last ten years, I've gotten sick from unforgiveness. And even now, daily, I must stay in a place with God, of not allowing myself to go back into that unforgiveness. So it is with a lot of trepidation and a lot of frailty that I give an attempt to speak on forgiveness. 

So let's say someone hurts you. You, just trying to be a good human being and someone hurts you. And you try to resolve it and you, you make stabs at it, but the person doesn't seem to be getting it and they don't seem to own it. And they don't seem to know how to say, “Hey, I am sorry. I did this. And I want to ask for your forgiveness.” And you of course are ready to do that. In fact, you did it and now you feel foolish for having done it because they don't do it. And now time goes on and it gets more awkward and more strange. And you say, “God, please would you cause this person to get it.” And more time goes on. And maybe you see them at a party and they're having fun, and you're not having fun at all because you've gotten hurt twice. Not only did you get hurt by them, but now, now you're becoming the issue. And you can't let go with thinking about this. And at some point in there, scripture says, “God protects the humble. And He has to sit on His hands with the proud, and wait.”

And there comes a time for me every single time. When I struggle with unforgiveness where I say, “God, I'm not sure You understand what's going on here. I'm the good guy, right? And that person seems to be getting away with what they're doing and with no thought of it, I saw them at that party. They were not in any, I would like some Old Testament, just Old Testament things just like boils and oozing sores just to get their attention. Cause they're not, they're not getting it right now. So would You do something like that for me?” And then time goes on and nothing happens. And eventually, I have found myself saying either audibly or inside, “God, I don't think You get this. In fact, I wonder if You're not on that person's side, which tells me, You either don't understand it, or You're not willing to protect Your boy here. I don't get You. So until You come around, I, this is my life and I am not going to have it scandalized or robbed or plagiarised. I'm not going to have it. I'll take care. I will enact justice and I will make sure that I am proven right.”

And at that moment, (hook noises) hooks get embedded into me and I start to get sick. And now I can see the moment in the day when it happened. I can tell you the color of the wall. I can tell you maybe even the smell in the air. I am obsessed with it. And now I just want to tell people about it. And they had better side with me. I have. Just so they can pray more effectively. I have a three-minute to five-minute, twenty-minute version of what that person did to me. And I start to grow less wise and less intelligent by the moment. I'm getting sick. And now I can't even hear myself. “Yeah. What you (stuttering) should have heard, what he (stuttering), and then he did this. Haha, I can’t believe he did, but he did. And then not only that, let me add to it. It wouldn't have been so bad, but he did.” I can't even hear myself saying it cause I'm sick and wounded and I can't figure out why I wouldn't be better protected. They say that forgiveness is the antidote to hurt. And when I don't take advantage of it, there comes a point where shame comes in and blame and attack and anger and wounded striking and lashing back. So this next time, I would love it. If we took a look at what that meant to forgive. Not the forgiveness I learned on the playground. “Bobby, you tell Johnny that you're sorry, and Johnny, you tell Bobby, you're sorry.” And you're not sorry you want Bobby dead. And next time let's look at a real forgiveness that will hold up. I mean really hold up, miraculously. I'm John Lynch and this is John Lynch Speaks.