The Tremendous Beauty of Trusting Others

Hi, I'm John Lynch and this is John Lynch Speaks.

One of the most astonishing realities of our God is that He reveals Himself through us, through other human beings. When I can trust another human being with me, because I can't see myself right, most of the time, God uses it to protect me. I want to explain that through a story. It involves my wife Stacey. So one day, this was a long time ago, when The Cure was first coming out, right before it came out, we asked some indifferent readers, we called them, to read the book and give critique. So one day I'm in the staff meeting and I read a card from one of the indifferent readers, and he rips me apart. All the parts of the book that are me. Not so much the wisdom and insight parts, but all the character making, all of the storytelling, all the narrative, all of that, he rips apart.

And I don't know what to do. I'm just in that meeting and somehow I get out and I get back to my office and I do the same thing that shame has historically done in me. I replay all of my life. “See this is what I do. See, see this is what I do. I ruin things. I hurt things. I can't even write a book. I try, I try to do this to help, but it's just what I've always done. It seems like I'm going to do okay and then I don't do okay. And I hurt people, and all the way back to sixth grade and little league. And remember that with Mrs. Sanchez in seventh grade?” And I go through it over and over and over, historically. But on that day, God said, “Hey kid, that's enough.” And He had Stacey call me. “Hey, John, how are you doing? I just want to know what time you're coming home for dinner.” And I said something like, “Ahem, ahem, see I gotta make, foosh, ah ish ow, ha ha, whoo.” And she said, “Um, you don’t sound good. Is everything okay?” I said, “Well, a k, k, ya, kind of fun. We’re doing, I’m doing, ya we’re doing, I'm oh, yes, bucklee, cam ah I'm doing, ahem.”

And she said, “What's wrong?” And for whatever reason, I did, that day, what I'd never been able to do before. I let her hear the weakness of my heart and the thing that scared me. I never did it before, even with her, because I was afraid that she would agree with the assessment. I'm so, so trying so hard to prove that I'm worth loving that I don't let anyone see that, historically. But on that day, for whatever reason, I found myself saying, “Stacey, I got so... This guy, he did a critique on the book, but it was about my stuff and it hurt me so bad. He ripped me apart. He... I'm so freaked out cause I feel like everything I touch... This is, what...” And Stacey waited till I was done and then she said something that only Stacey can say to me. She said, “Well, I always told you, you were a better speaker than a writer.”

Oh gosh. Well, thank you. So give me a moment so I can go find a bridge. And then she said, “And John, what this guy doesn't know is that the things that you have written about you believe and you've lived out in our family. More than anyone I know. I love you, my husband.” She had been waiting for this moment, earning trust with me so that at some point, I could trust her. And instead of embarrassment turning into me hurting someone, I could be protected from that. She said, “Come on, come on home. I've got dinner ready for you. I've got the twinkle lights out in the backyard patio. I've got your favorite wine. And when you come home, I will kiss you like a rabbit on shore leave.”

And I did. I came home. And I don't want to tell you everything was perfect and fine. I was still fragile and weak and scared and freaked out. But she did, she met me at the door and kissed me like a rabbit on shore leave and on our back patio we had dinner together. And may I tell you something. For the first time, maybe in my whole life, I let someone protect me in that way. And that night, historically, someone would've gotten hurt. I would have picked a fight with somebody, probably Stacey or the kids or someone at the elders meeting. And may I tell you trusting the love of another to protect me, nobody got hurt that night. And that is becoming a pattern for me. I don't know that I'll ever solve what I do when embarrassment hits, but I'm learning to let others love me when it goes down. Guys, this is the tremendous beauty, God is loving me through my wife, Stacey, and through dozens of others, friends. And the same can be true for you. It's beautiful.

Well, thanks. That's enough for today. I'm John Lynch and this is John Lynch Speaks.