God Is Crazy About You

Do you ever wonder about that condemning voice in your head? Do you wonder how it will ever go away?

Yeah, me too.

Before I knew Jesus, I had it so strong, this voice that was saying, “Well, there you go again. Well, there you go, Mr. Loser. Hey, you did that wrong again. Of course, you're in this spot now. What are you going to do now?” 

Even when I did something well, the voice was never happy. “Yeah, sure, you did that right. But how are you gonna follow it up? You've never done that right before.” 

I thought when I became a believer that voice would change.

I think it did for a while... sort of. Then I finished seminary, got my masters in divinity and was now a preacher in a church. I don't know why, but they had me preaching. I was preaching week in and week out. And this message started going on in my head. “You're such a phony. They're going to find you out. You're going to get revealed. You've always done this.” I hadn't done anything wrong. There was nothing to get revealed. There was no phoniness, but that voice was in there. 

Sometimes it felt like it was coming from God.“Yeah, yeah. Everybody thought you were funny, but I'm going to have to expose you. You'll thank Me for it someday. I mean, I wasn't taken in. I know what you're doing.” I wasn't doing anything wrong. I was just being me, but it was still there. That condemning voice comes with a theology that reads the Bible in a way that says, “You're condemned, you're judged. Something's wrong with you.” 

But remember, when I read it with a shame-free identity, I start to believe that Jesus is absolutely, wildly, wonderfully delighted in me. 

He's not disgusted. He's not ashamed. I'm not a loser. He dwells fully in me and He will not go away. He puts His hand on my heart and says, “You are enough.” And after a while, I dare to choose to believe that it could possibly be true. The voice changes. I don’t hear that voice that says, “I'm onto you. You're going to get found out. I'm going to have to expose you.” I never hear it anymore. I just hear this voice that says, 

“Do you know how crazy I am about you?”

“Yeah, yesterday was a little rough. We'll have to maybe repeat that a little bit, but I got you. I got you. And boy, you ought to see chapter 26 up ahead. It's pretty incredible.”

That's how change is. Take hope. It's coming.

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